ok....well....maybe not the sky...
but my KITCHEN CEILING IS!!!!!!
yepper...the toilet in the bathroom above the kitchen sprang some sort of leak.
when?
when?
who knows...but,
I thought I smelled MOLD a couple of weeks ago and mentioned it to Peter,
"the Man in All His Wisdom"
"the Man in All His Wisdom"
told me to scrub the base-track of the shower doors better.
uh huh.
right.
so I did.
I got out the bleach-water to clean it...scrubbed it good.
no more mold smell.
no more mold smell.
EUREKA!
then two days ago, I'm standing at the coffee maker in the kitchen, and...
drip!
drip!
drip!
DRIP!
I look up...and to my astonishment, there is a bulging water-bubble
up there on said ceiling!!!
"OH NOOOoooo!!"
I yelled to the cat...
"OH NOOOoooo!!"
I yelled to the cat...
(who was standing next to me, getting splashed with the drips off my person)
She took off like a bat out of hell and headed up the stairs...
She took off like a bat out of hell and headed up the stairs...
well, that's where I was headed, (to the bath) so of course now she thinks
I'm chasing her and getting her wet on purpose!
I'm chasing her and getting her wet on purpose!
She went right, and I went left, and I screached to a halt in the bathroom.
no water.
no water.
anywhere.
"HMMMmmmmm"...now I'm humming to myself,
thinking, ok, I've finally lost it...
where is it coming from?
thinking, ok, I've finally lost it...
where is it coming from?
Suzy, (the Cat) peared out from under the bed, still licking her wet fur,
to see who I was talking to
(she's usually the only one that hangs around with me during the day)...
(yes, I talk to my cats...no. I'm not completely crazy.)
to see who I was talking to
(she's usually the only one that hangs around with me during the day)...
(yes, I talk to my cats...no. I'm not completely crazy.)
(no. they don't answer me back...well...not in English anyway...
but that's a whole 'nother story)
but that's a whole 'nother story)
Anyhoo, I race back down stairs,
(suzy heads back under the bed)
and the water-bubble on the ceiling is now twice as big as it was.
(suzy heads back under the bed)
and the water-bubble on the ceiling is now twice as big as it was.
So I
(in all My Infinite Wisdom)
decide to get a kitchen chair.
I have to touch the water-bubble.
(in all My Infinite Wisdom)
decide to get a kitchen chair.
I have to touch the water-bubble.
(why you ask?)
(i seriously don't know, was just compelled to)
(ok, maybe I am a bit daft then, ok? I'll ask the Cat what she thinks about that...)
(i seriously don't know, was just compelled to)
(ok, maybe I am a bit daft then, ok? I'll ask the Cat what she thinks about that...)
So now I'm standing, tippedy-toed on the kitchen chair,
reaching my little pointer-finger upward, upward, up-
reaching my little pointer-finger upward, upward, up-
SPLASH!!!!!!!!!
three gallons of water, a sheet of wet sheetrock
and 20lbs. of sopping wet, moldy insulation has now landed on my head.
I, however, haven't moved...
I'm still standing on my toes, pointing upward.
and 20lbs. of sopping wet, moldy insulation has now landed on my head.
I, however, haven't moved...
I'm still standing on my toes, pointing upward.
Guess who now decides to walk in the back door?
yep.
HIM.
I will not quote him exactly, for fear of being censored or kicked out of blog-land,
but I'm sure you can guess what Peter had to say to me...
I froze in mid-air.
I froze in mid-air.
I pretended that I had just happened to be there when he walked in~
on the kitchen chair, pointing at the ceiling
(not touching it...no...I wouild NEVER do that Honey, really)
on the kitchen chair, pointing at the ceiling
(not touching it...no...I wouild NEVER do that Honey, really)
showing the CAT the big water-bubble on the ceiling.
Of course, she was nowhere to be found after the crash/splash,
so I had no one to corroborate my story...
(that's the last time I'll listen to her...
and no more tunafish either dammit)
(that's the last time I'll listen to her...
and no more tunafish either dammit)
LONG STORY SHORT
we (Peter) concluded that the beeswax seal on the toilet had loosened up with age, and that probably for weeks water has been slowly leaking into the floor and insulation....
easy to fix. no problemo.
so I suggested to Pete that now that the kitchen ceiling needed to be re-re-sheetrocked
(it's been finished twice before)
that we might as well go ahead and remodel the entire kitchen...
(it's been finished twice before)
that we might as well go ahead and remodel the entire kitchen...
He told me to go ask THE CAT what colors she thinks would be nice....
(hmmm....a nice shade of Salmon perhaps???)
~~~~~~~::::~~~~~~~~
Moral of this story:
Don't touch things that you KNOW YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T.
and
DON'T Trust the CAT.
DON'T Trust the CAT.
Blessed be, Friends,
Lori
11 comments:
Oh how I laughed when I read your tale...the same thing happened to me several years ago except my dear hubby was the one who touched the bubble. Of course all of this came to pass because he ignored my warning that the shower upstairs needed regrouting and I was sure all the water was going behind the tiles! A small job turned into a big one...will he ever listen to me???
AAH Lori, This tale brings back memories... mine wasn't a toilet, but one of those big ol' cast iron footed tubs! Of course you HAVE to touch the bubble!... Love the touch of salmon too, yes, and with.... black accents, naturally! Becky
Your tale of the leak and bubble is very disturbing yet funny. I hope you get the kitchen of your dreams! After that you deserve your remodel! :)
oh, i can just imagine what he had to say, LOL! same thing my husband would say...
on the other hand:
leaking kitchen ceiling=new kitchen
cool!
SO GLAD I'm not the only one who has to touch the water bubble folks...love to hear your tails...please share!!
xoxox Blessed be,
Lori
ummm...that above should read TALES!!!!!!
sorry! *giggle*snort*
Lori
Of course you have to touch it!! LOL...A kitchen remodel since you have to repair the ceiling sounds totally logical to me!
And I talk to the dog and the three cats in the house too! Sometimes they look at me like they know EXACTLY what I am talking about...then sometimes, not so much...more like they think I'm crazy!
Good luck with the kitchen!!
Lori, this is hysterical. You do hae a special way to tell a story. And I'm with you....of course you have to touch it!! Too bad Peter chose that exact moment to walk in.
I talk to my cats all day long too. Nothing strange about that, in my opinion.
Now that the kitchen ceiling needs to be redone, I hope you can get the kitchen remodel of your dreams. Now I have to go clean up the coffee that spewed from my mouth when I read your story!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad I'm not you, because from this side of the country, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a Loooooooong time. :)
Oh, how exciting...a kitchen remodel...lol that is the exact direction I would go with it!!!!
Until then, it doesnt cost to dream. Dianntha
Lori:
Loved the story - I even laughed OUT LOUD over several points!!! Reminds me about our home in Alabama, after Ivan hit. We were living in FL and still owned the house in AL. After the storm and several weeks had passed, we had to go take a look at out house. Just getting from FL to AL was a treacherous trip. Fallen trees. Boats in trees. Washed out roads and etc.
Our house had been hit - not too seriously - but it had been hit by the hurricane. The first night we were sleepig in the house, I heard a buzzzzzzzz. I walked thru the house.......pecked on the walls, while DH slept. Peck Peck Pek......buzz buzz buzz!!!! Finally I zeroed in to a spot on the ceiling in the computer room. I went into the bedroom to wake up DH.......and he grumbled.......but came to see the problem. He peeked around, but said it was nothing, he could hear no buzzing and all he could see was this tiny black speck on the ceiling. No biggie, right? I said "Honey, something bad is going on behind that speck!". Still, he heard nothing. I pecked on the wall........and alas.......he heard a buzz......hummmmmmmmm. He said, I'm just going to peel this tiny spot away and see what we have". Of course, being of sound mind, I ran and closed the door, but held it just a crack so I could see...... About that time, DH peeled back a tiny spot and out came some wasps! He jumped down, ran to the door and screamed at me to find a towel, to seal off the door bottom while he want to the garage to find something to nail over the hole.
Long story short.....the next morning at the butt-crack-of-dawn......we called an exterminator. He came, suited up and into the room he went.
Again, long story short.......he had to tear out a huge spot in the ceiling, remove this giganic hive, bomb the room with a cloud of something......and he had so many wasp stings, he had to go home and rest for the rest of the day!
That was one huge repair. Moral of the story.......when I hear buzzing........my DH now listens to me. I promise - true story. Wish I could have gotten this one on film.
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