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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Brechlin Zoo Parade...

Once a year, the Brechlin Zoo Parade comes to town...
what is that... you ask yourself?
well...
Once a year, Lazy & Buddy need to have their booster shots at the vets office.
easy?
no.
First,
the dogs don't want to go...
second,
I don't want to take them.
So, the Games begin with
"Corral the Dogs"
a game which, when finished, there are no winners.
the object of the game is to leash the dogs, and simply put them in the back of the box van.
we almost always, however, end up chasing them around the farmyard...
all of us with maniacal looks on our faces (especially the dogs)
finally, after getting up from tackling them,
we can usually get the lease on them and drag them to the van...
we get Lazy in first, in the hopes that Buddy the Beast
will follow his lead...
yeah. right.
Buddy doesn't want to be in the back of the van.
nope.
Buddy wants to drive.
and Buddy's driving skills are like watching Pac-man on LSD.
...just crazy.

Once in the van, Lazy will usually vomit.
projectile vomit.
not a good thing...

and everone is ducking.
and Buddy is shaking slobber all over everyone...

did I mention that we are usually dressed in rags for our vet's visit...
(they probably think we're destitute),
but no sense wearing good clothes.

Upon our arrival at the office,
by now, Lazy 'gets' what's going to happen next...
(shots & medicine)
so he goes into a Death-Roll in the back of the van...
wrapping himself in his leash, along with my arm,
usually twisting me around and getting me into a position
that i never knew i could get into...
or out of!
After that session, Lazy is exhausted


...and now it's Big-boy's turn....
Seeing me wrestle with Lazy,
has now sent him cowering into the back of the van,
and he has ......um...
'tinkled'...
after that embarrassment , he wasn't budging.

out come the dog treats...
(should have thought about that when being torqued by Lazy...)

Buddy will do anything for a treat....
(well...almost)
He grabbed it out of my hand,
and quickly tried to hide under the driver's seat.
(and THAT'S not happening!)

Finally, we get into the office.
usually we are greated with
"oooh's and ahhh's"
regarding Buddy's size...
with this time being no exception...
In the waiting room, a little girl was sitting quietly, with a little cat
(OH NO!) in her lap.
She blurts out:

"A POLAR BEAR!!!!!!"

which not only excites Buddy,
but has drawn Lazy's attention to the CAT.
(Lazy loves cats...loves to chase them, smell them and...taste them...)

Little Girl now gets up and starts to run,
trying to get out of Lazy's path....trying NOT to get into Buddy's path...

(Ohhh...have I mentioned that yes, Peter was 'there' with me...
but laughing so hard that he was absolutely no help to me whatsoever.)

So, we emptied the waiting room...
some guy with a cockapoo headed for the hills,
and another lady just sat there,
stunned...
as Buddy helped her remove her some of her make-up.
I guess this commotion set the Dog Doctor into motion, because he came flying out from what looked like a closet door,
with two Hypo's in his hand...
one for Buddy,
one for Lazy...
who is now panting so hard that I'm thinking he'll hyperventilate
(Maybe if he passes out he won't puke in the van again on the way home? Hmmm...)


Dog Doctor asks: "Who's first?"
I reply: "My Husband."
(Dog Nurse laughs...Dog Doctor won't even crack a smile)
Nurse says: "What kind of dog is he?" (meaning Buddy)
I reply: "Chihuahua"
(DOG Doctor laughs, Dog Nurse shoots me dirty look)

Shots are finished, walls are covered in spit-slime, waiting rooom is evacuated,
Dog Doctor is happy it's over for another year, Dog Nurse needs a life...
All done. Fini'. Kapoot.
SOOOO.....back into the van we go...
Tails wagging, tongues hanging out...ready to go back home.
oh,..yeah...Buddy & Lazy were happy too...
Blessed be, Friends~
Lori

11 comments:

Tracey said...

Oh my gosh you had me laughing out loud!! I can just picture it. My dog is always excited to get in the car- then when we are almost at the vet he realizes where we are going and I have to drag him in.. lol

catgerenser said...

That description was priceless! Thanks for the smile - just when I needed one.

~Judy~ said...

OMG!! Another laugh out loud story!! I know all too well about getting 2 dogs to the vet at the same time. How do they know??!!

We go in December.......

Judy

April Mechelle said...

Lori, I laughed till I almost tinkled... LOL .. My baby ( rebel - black 13 year old cocker spaniel) runs and gets in the car, sits in the passenger side looking out window. The minute I turn on the hwy that runs beside the vet's office, she will get down in the floor board and hide... LOL. and of course like you, I have to pull on her by the leash to get her out of the car.. I know what it is like. Rest up for next year !! LOL

Christine said...

OMG- you nearly made me shooot coffee out my nose! lol My bad- I should have known better to try to read one of your descriptive stories and drink! Thanks for the laugh this morning- I really needed it:)

~Christine~

janeu729 said...

Knowing these 2 dog guys makes this story even funnier!! I can just imagine "polar bear/chihuahua" Buddy trying to hide under the seat. Poor, sweet Lazy - he's usually so mellow.
Glad they both made it thru' the ordeal.

JoJo said...

Lori, this is one of the many reasons your blog is one of my favorites. It almost never fails that I can get a good laugh (pee my panties, swallow and gasp down the wrong tube, send Diet Sunkist out my nose, etc.) when I get the chance to get here and read. This very closely rivals some of my visits to the vet with 5 cats in tow.

Thank you so much for making me laugh. You are a total hoot.

Lori said...

you are all kindly welcome ~

I derive great pleasure in sharing my wonderfully-wacky life

and tickling your funny bones!!!!!

xoxoxo ~ Lori

Kathy said...

I feel your pain...been there, done that Vet thing...now, you have probably posted photos of the 2 sweet little darlings...but please, will you post again to refresh our memories? Oh, you had me laughing...DH never took our dogs to the vet...he had no clue what was so funny...

Peggy Lee said...

I laughed, I cried....I laughed till I cried. You must be a hoot to pal around with! I sent this link to my mother. She is a big dog lover and I know she will enjoy reading this one. Ohhhh....I forgot to warn her to wear her most absorbent panties! :(

whimseycreations said...

Lori you have a way with words and I'd love to see pictures of your dogs. I was just rolling and laughing out loud reading your blog today. I have 3 black Lb mixes and I can't even imagine them all in a car together LOLOLOL Thanks for sharing!!!

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