My eyes just aren't what they used to be.
I am squinting, closing one eye,
making terrible faces just to read the ceral boxes in the morning,
and playing guessing games with the roadsigns...
I have pairs and pairs of what I like to call
you know, those funky, psychedelic little glasses that you can buy from
the stitching department at Michael's Arts and Crafts for 5 bucks a pair?
( I KNOW you own a pair....fess up.)
(ok, in EACH of my sewing baskets)
the car, the bathroom, the kitchen...
I stash them in coat pockets and re-discover them when the weather turns cold again,
("oh look"!!!, I'll say...like their brand-new again!)
and find them in out-of-service purses high on the closet shelves.
Do I need Eyeglasses Anonymous?
I will be visiting my local Optician.
He's already informed be to bring my
(what, is he kidding? all 394 pairs??)
I know that he has to, so he can reeealy check in there to see what's wrong,
I'll be sure to stay put in his waiting room until it wears off!!!
Nobody needs an almost blind-to-begin-with woman
with Doctor induced 'blurred vision' and humongous pupils
trying to drive her van around the Food Lion parking lot!!
(I'll look like a crazed stalker or something!)
not that I'll be able to see myself....
I'm hoping that I'll be a candidate for some sort of new
Lasik Surgery or something...
I don't want contacts either...
they make me claustrophobic!
"see" ya later...