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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Farmhouse Blues.....

Please let me vent...
I am taking some time off....
not from creating,
but from being caretaker of someone else.
I'm burnt out. tired. feeling a little 'BLUE' and needing to heal myself...
I've done what I set out to do getting my sister & her family here,
...but I need my life back.
I love my sister Jo, and don't regret having her here.
I made a promise to her and my Mom that I would help take care of her,
but she and I have always had a rocky relationship...
thusly, I knew it was a matter of time that we would, (again) have a 'falling out'...
This is 'normal' for our relationship,
although I don't consider it normal fully for anyone else.

Having a sister that is terminally ill is a hard thing for anyone to handle...
having a sister who is terminally ill and volatile emotionally is a whole 'nother thing.
since we were children, differences have come between us, turning ourselves against each other, only to rekindle a very strong sisterly love...only to have it stomped out again and again by her insecurities and,
well...I don't know what else and just can't try to figure out 'what else' anymore...
THANK YOU ALL for your help.
You've done a beautiful thing by praying for us and supporting us and being there for us...
your generosity was not in vain.
So again, I say, I need to find me again.
and I will,
in my work,
in my home
in my garden
in my husband and daughter and mother and
my dear, dear Friends...
(Sherry Kristoff...YOU will always be my SISTER)

Yesterday, I was sitting in my Keeping Room and was feeling a little blue ~

I was thinking to myself just how peaceful and serene my little farmhouse is...
how very safe and happy it makes me feel.

...all of the things that I have decorated it with have a meaning to me...
times shared with friends antiquing and thrifting,

many hours of arranging and re-arranging to get it 'just right'...


gathering and collecting beautiful (in my eyes) things from Dear Friends,
and artfully arranging them and enjoying them everyday...

and I began to notice a theme...

the color BLUE is everywhere in my home.
and it suits me just fine today...
Thanks for listening, my sweet Friends ~
Blessed be!
Lori






22 comments:

Pots 'n Prims said...

Many, many hugs to you dear friend!!
Xo~
lisa

Lori said...

thank you Lisa!

woolwoman said...

Lori - so sorry to hear of the stormy relationship with your sister but my mom and her sister are the same way so it is a common problem between some sisters. Once my grandmother (their mother) passed away - they just don't speak any more - been almost 10 years now and I know my mom is much happier. Your designs bring so much joy to so many - I am loving hooking my Merrie Halloween - so you just recharge your battery and keep enjoying your beautiful peaceful place. Blessings to you! Melody

Lori said...

thank you so much melody ~ send me a pic of your finished piece, won't you?

blessed be~

clothnclay said...

Ahh, sisters...I don't have one, but always thought it would be so cool to have one. Though it seems to me, most "sisters" that I know, have a relationship very similar to yours. I suppose, if you didn't love each other so much, it wouldn't bother you as much and you wouldn't even take the time to argue. Maybe it's your differences that actually compliment each other. It must be quite exhausting, what you are going through. Hope you feel better... btw, isn't it something how, looking around a room, that special "blue" always catches your eye and makes you smile? Take care, Becky

Constance said...

Hi Lori,
I've had the same relationship with my brother and Mother. Mom is gone now but I cared for her for 5 years in my home while she was sick. My brother is not ill like Jo but he has a severe drinking problem. I just ran to the hospital and brought him home at lunch. He had been admitted suffering from severe alcohol poisening. I'm 10 years older and he was put in my arms at 3 months to take care of except when mom wanted to show him off. He can be so mean to me and the more I do the more he usually takes advantage of me. My heart goes out to you. The mixed feelings of pain and fear are so hard. I know you love Jo and it is good that she is near you now. I wish I could offer you more in support but I once took in a little partially paralized kitty. She loved brother dearly, even when he was drunk and so hatefull her little face would light up and she crawl up to his shoulder and kiss him. I guess I had to learn from her that brother is one of those people that you just have to love him for who he is even if it's hard. You and Jo are in my prayers. Your home is beautiful but there are many colors there, not just the blue. You share all the many colors of your life, home and heart with us all and we are fortunate to know you. Be blessed.

basketsnprims said...

Lori,
Hugs and blessings to you.
Pam

janeu729 said...

Lori, I always get a happy feeling when I visit NotForgotten Farm, so I know there's lots of positive energy there. Your Farmhouse Family - Peter, Hannah, and all the sweet critters will get you back on track. Go to your favorite outside place and just feel the pulse. That's the energy that renews one's spirit.

sewprimitive karen said...

Oh don't feel bad, this too shall pass and you will find (as the previous poster said so well) the positive energy in your home. I do wonder what the story is on that heavenly cupboard with the tulip carved in the door....

Holly Hills Primitives said...

On a positive note, your house is just precious. Love the way you have decorated. Let it put it's arms around you and take away the pain. Home is our shelter and safe haven. Hope all is well soon, Dawn

Terri(TerriBoog) said...

Thinking of you, Lori and hoping that your energy and spirit are renewed soon. Some people, no matter whom they are or how needful of our help are an absolutely drain. We do not deserve, as fellow human beings, deserve to have our spiritual energy drained. Be well.

Cinlyn said...

Unfortunely it's more common than what you think. Take all the time that you need and deserve. I've not gotten to visit Notforgotten Farm in person, but I can tell by the photos you share with us that you will find the peace and healing that YOU need within those walls! Know that we are here for you and continue to keep you and your family in thoughts and prayers.

Tea-Primitive Thymes said...

Dearest Lori.. I am trying to send you some big, warm cyber hugz from way over yonder in Perth.. I hear your frustrations and your longing for peace.. I have been in the same position over the years.. One tries to smile and get on with it, but sometimes you just have to withdraw and BREATH...
Your house is so beautiful.. and peaceful.. I hope it gives you the serenity you need, as you sit and sew.. or read.. or just contemplate..
Blessings to you, my friend xxx Tea

Olde Tyme Marketplace said...

Lori,
I am so sorry to hear about the way things are with your sister. My mom and her sister have had a love hate relationship all their lives and it is such a heavy burden to bear. I could always see and feel the stress it took on my mom. It has not been easy on me at times either because both of them have put me in the middle...not a great place to be. I hate that you have to go through all this and you heart is so good and big.THAT is what will get you through all this. Just take a deep breath, count your blessings, say a quick prayer and know that you have alot of support out here.
Hugs,
Beth

maggiesfarm said...

Lori,
To be or have a sister is sometimes a tricky thing. Let yourself be blue awhile and soon you will "bee glad" again. :)

Merrie

Jenny said...

I love of the goodies in your home.

CarolG said...

Your home is beautiful and "just my style". I have a wonderful daughter who is an interior designer who tells me all the time - Mom, country is so
out! But she is young and still lives at home so she tolerates it! My whole home is blue - every room except hers which is red. I especially like the quilt/coverlet on the light blue chair! I have one of those sisters also - and one normal one. My youngest sister has Hep C and her health is terrible; she took chemotherapy to rid herself of the Hep C and now that has damaged her heart and she has eight ruptured disks in her back. All of her life choices have of course been the wrong ones - she goes from doctor to doctor in rural PA and gets pain killers which she takes all the time and is whacked out most of the time....I avoid her as much as I can which makes me feel guilty...my normal sister and I take turns dealing with her since our Mother is gone....not a good situation! I know one of these days we are going to lose her to an overdose. She is only 48 but she has always made the wrong choices, tells lies all the time which in her mind immediately becomes the truth - she just exasperates me! I know where you are coming from! Hang in there!

Lori said...

Please, everyone...know that I am so deeply thankful for all of your commments...I know I am not alone, just sometimes we can each feel that way...it lightens my Heart & Spirit to know that I have Friends like you all that can relate, care and be concerned for me, and know that I too am here for each of you.

xoxoxoxox's to ALL of you!!

Trudy said...

Sending you big soft hugs, and some of my patience so you don't run out.

Be strong,

Trudy

Apple Jack said...

Hi Lori,
I totally understand the sister thing--I have one and we have always had very rocky relationship. We find time apart works best for us--we push all the wrong buttons.
Get yourself some Notforgotten Farm therapy with home, critters and designs

Betty

Cathi said...

Been there, done that with my sister, too. But we haven't gotten back to the "strong sisterly love" yet. But that's okay. We are who we are. If I were to meet my sister on the street and she wasn't my sister, I just wouldn't like her very much and definitely wouldn't be her friend. We have the same parents and grew up in the same house and that's where it ends. Remember what you wrote in your introduction....."I am happiest when I create.." So go do that! Hugs to you.

The Primitive Window said...

So sorry to hear you and your sister have to go through these trial of life. Will pray for you both to find peace with each other and in life. Wrap one of those quilts around you, I have been going through some health stuff and I wrap myself in the afghan my bestest aunt made for me and think good thoughts and I feel better, and I would feel better for sure sitting and dreaming in one of your rooms. Being home is nice when you have made it a spedial one. Have a good weekend, catch some spring pleasures!

Renee
The Primitive Window

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